Madeleine Chapman reflects on the week that was.
Over new years, I was in Japan on a lovely trip, waiting outside a tiny cafe run by an old man. He didn’t have a website or anything, but had recently gone viral on TikTok for one of the few dishes he made.
When we arrived, his store was closed, but the sign said it would be open that day. So we waited, and over the next 40 minutes, tourists came and went, some knocking on the glass, others grumbling about the inconsistent opening hours. Eventually, he emerged, took one look at us and crossed his two index fingers. Closed. Someone tried to protest and he just shook his head before shutting the door behind him.
Part of me was gutted because we’d travelled specifically to try his dish and now wouldn’t be able to. But I loved his refusal to cater to his newfound popularity. He knew exactly what he wanted to do and wasn’t going to change, no matter how many people were waiting grumpily outside, desperate to give him their money.
I’ve been thinking a lot about ambition lately, as I’ve been planning my exit from The Spinoff. This idea of ambition and a need to always be moving up in the world or “making an impact”.
Ambition is so tied up in capitalism that it’s taken me months to even start untangling the two in my mind. One of the exciting things my partner Jenn and I are doing later this year is moving to a much smaller city.
I spent weeks plotting in my head how I would be able to make up my current salary in remote freelance and contract work when the job market is so quiet. Spoiler: it would be extremely difficult. I quietly stressed about this until Jenn asked me why I was trying to earn the same amount when our living costs were about to halve and the whole point of moving was to have less stress and financial pressure.
I didn’t have an answer except to think that it seemed like something I should do. Otherwise I’m just quitting.
Reading Hera Lindsay Bird’s advice this week to a reader asking “am I squandering my potential?” was a perfectly timed reminder that ambition can be directed anywhere. Yes you can be ambitious in a professional sense, but just as many people are equally ambitious in their home lives, in their hobbies, in their friendships and in their health. Over the past few months I have developed an even bigger admiration for those who know what they want and do precisely what they need to get it – whether it’s fame, fortune or having time for fun.
That man in Japan would be considered unambitious by many (though one could argue limiting supply increases demand and is a business masterstroke) but it takes a lot of strength to stick to your wants and not be swept along by the ambitions others have for you.
In 2016, I asked a stranger for an opportunity because it was exactly what I wanted to do. To my surprise and delight, he said yes. That is probably the last time I felt truly ambitious, going after something brand new that I deeply wanted but didn’t know if I would ever have.
After a decade of saying yes (and don’t get me wrong, benefitting hugely from it and having a lot of fun along the way doing exactly what I dreamed of), I’ve realised that exactly what I want now is the opposite.
And suddenly I feel ambitious again.
The stories Spinoff readers spent the most time with this week
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- Is “cunt” still the worst thing a woman can call another woman? Anna Rawhiti-Connell ponders.
- Nobody cuts through government spin like the Act Party, argues Hayden Donnell
- Hayden again, asking why it’s so weird to compare librarians to fisheries officers in pay equity claims
- After Te Pāti Māori MPs faced record suspensions for performing a haka in the House, Liam Rātana compiled a list of when and where haka are appropriate
- The dream pub is real and it’s in Wellington, writes Nick Isles
Feedback of the week
“Related to this so much. This is why we need to regulate the companies and not the users. I have managed to curb some of my phone addiction through a lot of work and full deletion of all social media apps, but now I literally (not kidding) obsessively check the spinoff. Comments section doesn’t help lol. Next step is to get to the heart of what I’m avoiding by being on my phone…”
“As someone who is currently studying towards a MIS (Master’s in Information Studies) to hopefully gain a professional-level librarian position I am fuming. The time and expense to do this qualification is being undervalued by this government, as is my career pathway of choice. Most professional librarian positions need the MIS, and to say that we don’t deserve to be paid as much as fisheries officers is deeply offensive. Librarians don’t spend their days reading or checking out books. It is far more complex than that -and the assistants who check out the books deserve more pay too – their jobs are also technically complex, misunderstood and undervalued”
