Welcome to The Spinoff Books Confessional, in which we get to know the reading habits of Aotearoa writers, and guests. This week: Donovan Te Ahunui Farnham, author of Whānau: Reo Māori phrases to share with the people you love.

The book I wish I’d written

I’m very fortunate that I get to work alongside highly proficient speakers of te reo Māori and, while my passion lies in normalising te reo and I believe that Whānau has something to offer speakers at any level, I’d love to write a book that clearly and thoroughly explains some of the most common language errors that people make, from pronunciation to semantics to grammar. I could really geek out in a book like that, complete with footnotes, diagrams and a glossary that’s almost as big as the book! Unfortunately, two friends of mine, Dr Hona Black and Te Aorangi Murphy-Fell, beat me to it. I’ll always harbour a grudge towards them for that.

Everyone should read

Everyone should read something from the Kotahi Rau Pukapuka range. I’m a licensed translator and interpreter of te reo Māori, and that collection features the best translations out there. No Māori-language book has gotten my oldest son more excited that Hare Pota me te Whatu Manapou, the translation of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.

The book I want to be buried with

Such a morbid question deserves a morbid answer. I’d like to be buried in the most eco-friendly manner possible. I’m not sure which book would breakdown the fastest – maybe a newspaper?

The first book I remember reading by myself

Where’s Wally! I know it should probably be more profound, or something that paints me in a more cultured light, but I didn’t find my love of reading until I was an adult. Growing up, we had two main options for entertainment: go outside or watch TV. I wasn’t read to as a child, but sometimes going outside led me to the library and the Where’s Wally collection was so much fun! I’m still searching for Wally in The Land of Wallies.

Fiction or nonfiction

I’ve spent a lot of time with my nose buried in Māori-language grammar books, so I’d have to say I read more nonfiction, but I have a well-used Audible subscription and have absorbed a large amount of fiction since I signed up.

Even though I was a late bloomer when it came to reading, we’ve always tried to fill our house with books and foster a love of reading. Because of this, I’ve managed to do a lot of catching up alongside my kids and my boys and I loved the Harry Potter series, The Hunger Games series, the Percy Jackson series, just to name a few.

It’s a crime against language to

My pet peeve is macrons in the wrong place, especially if someone has added one where it doesn’t belong! There’s a world of difference between tara and tāra, but I’ll let you look that one up for yourself. The only graffiti I’ve ever done was adding a macron or an apostrophe to a sign. Luckily, this serial orthographic corrector is still at large.

The book that made me cry

My wife says that I only have two emotions: “grumpy” and “not-grumpy”, so I can’t claim a book has literally brought me to tears, but my 8-year-old nephew lives with us and he hasn’t had an easy life, so far. We love Dog Man by Dav Pilkey and, I won’t spoil it too much, but there’s a child (or kitten to be more precise) that isn’t able to live with his parents. However, he grows up with a loving whānau and is an awesome, well-rounded kid. It’s hard to find a book where the child isn’t raised by their biological parents, let alone one where the foster parents are portrayed as a positive, stable part of their lives.

Dog Man has so many positive messages for children. We’re big fans of the series.

So no, I didn’t cry, but I did sit non-grumpily and stare out the window for a while, which for me is practically sobbing.

The book I never admit I’ve read

Apart from my wife, no one knows about my fleeting obsession with The Walking Dead – the popular TV show that started around 15 years ago. Well, I was so into it, that I also read the comic book series and would wait eagerly every month or so for a new one to come out. I read just over 100 of them, before deciding that I needed to give it up cold turkey. 

Edit: I just Googled it. They only made 193! It might be time for a relapse.

If I could only read three books for the read of my life they would be

Ladies and gentlemen, strap yourselves in for possibly the most boring answer to this question that you’ve ever heard. If there were an apocalypse and I could only read three books for the rest of my life, they would be as follows:

• A Dictionary of the Māori Language by Herbert W.Williams
• A Māori Reference Grammar by Ray Harlow
• Ngā Pēpeha a ngā Tīpuna by Hirini Moko Mead and Neil Grove

These three are the staples in my reading diet, but hey, if the apocalypse comes, I’ll be prepped to correct anyone’s Māori-language!

Encounter with an author

A disturbingly large number of my friends are authors, and whenever one of them publishes a book, I make a point of asking them to sign a copy for me. Not one of them has accepted graciously. Now, of course, I have my own book, and I can wholeheartedly say that I have not accepted signing my friends’ books graciously either. It’s so awkward and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone … until one of them publishes again. Then it’s back ambushing them with pen and book in hand, for the sake of the collection.

What are you reading right now

Right now, I’m partway through my sister’s Master’s thesis. She’s amazing – she’s working on undoing the narrative of “The Angry Māori Woman”, interviewing Māori women in leadership roles. She’s done a great job telling their stories, but it is a Master’s thesis and it’s slow going. Maybe I need to wait for the audiobook version.

Whānau: Reo Māori phrases to share with the people you love by Donovan Te Ahunui Farnham and illustrated by Rehua Wilson ($30, Hachette) is available to purchase from Unity Books.